Believe it or not, there were a handful of friends with naughty thoughts in the brain. They loved playing double dare and they'd challenge me to steal silly things such as an eraser from the school shop. If I did it without getting caught, then I'm in their clan.
Girl friends at secondary school had two things in mind all mapped out for the time when they are done with school…. (i) get married and (ii) make lots of babies. I on the other hand was curious about what is on the other side of the planet. I guess that is the reason why I never got along with a lot of people. Despite of all that, I have two oldest friendships of over 10 years. We are a world of difference but there is something that holds us together. I’m guessing its opposite attracts… I’m crazy and they are not. I’m outspoken and they think before they speak. I love food and so do they. I won’t trade them over for anything in the world and not even for Manolos!! We been through a lot together… and we fought a couple of times. It’s only natural. They were there for me in the goods and they stood next to me in the bads. Friends like these don't come around as often anymore.
And then there are people I met along the way and there were efforts thrown into the friendship pot but the stove ran out of gas. We magically developed this ‘hi’ and ‘bye’, ‘let’s catch up soon!’ kind of friendship. We never really catch-up as said… I guess the saying is more of words of consolation than anything else. Deep down we knew the friendship is never going to kick off and it didn’t matter. What is stopping us from making this friendship work? Could it be possible that we have enough friends?
As I get older, it gets harder to make friends. A few years ago, I learnt to tiptoe around a friend’s feelings only because she is grumpy ~ majority of the time. Our friendship had an expiry date and we lasted for about 24months. She pulled the plug on me because of her insecurity and a man. Looking back at it now, I have no regrets… I don’t think I can cope with her crappy mood swings. I’m simply too happy for her negativities.
Amidst the many best friends and not so best friends, I have one best male friend. We always keep each other company and we’d look out for each other. I thought about dating him, gal pals told me to date him but my inner self told me not to. I can’t bare the thought of loosing him to a failed relationship. So I set him free = kept him as my best man.
Living in a small island of 4.5million people, there is not much to do except alcohol. So there is the kind of friendship that only happens over alcohol. The bond gets tighter when alcohol kicks in... They are also the friends who’d make me have one more drink when I have had enough. Friends in this category are there to simply there to ruin my life and make me fat so I live miserably ever after.
What about the non-friends whom I maintained at a distant - frienemies (?). I used to have frienemies but not anymore. Living in the past is painful.
And then there are the friends-with-benefits and I’m pretty sure that almost everyone has at least one or two friend in this category - for those restless days (or nights). Of course this friendship is kept behind closed doors. There won’t be trips to the movies or a Saturday night dancing until sunrise. We don’t even exchange surnames to avoid complicating the friendship.
Lastly there are friends on my Facebook and majority of them would write something on my wall on my birthday and vice versa. Other than that, they are just Facebook-friends and nothing more.
My recent call for help has slapped some serious friendship sense into my brain and the time has come that I start differentiating who are 'friends'? who are acquaintances?